HibernationLetters 18

The initial memories I have of the city are all credited to its heat. My first response to the hot, humid spells of the climate was an impulsive haircut. Those long strands once reaching my waist no longer belonged there. It was the language barrier which caused me so much loss, since I didn't clearly understand the length that the beautician informed me about and I gave a thumbs up. My new hairdo, just barely touching the base of my neck made me feel hideous. Luckily you never had to see that phase because the sad part of the story was the heat which still continued to kill me even after this sacrifice.

Believe me for most of the girls/women these timely haircuts are a huge sacrifice.

I'd always enjoyed the rains. Being under a near constant cover of clouds eventually made me fall in love with the city too.

Now the extremes of weather back home doesn't suit me. The summers being too hot & dry and the winters easily freezing outside.

After your arrival the winters would be the best. Sitting close to you, surrounded by your arms, the warmth was cosily perfect. I'd never feel that much of cold in your presence like you were a different species of a man in a machine constantly controlling his body temperature and radiating some heat as well.

Now it's cold all over again. Even in the summers and especially during the nights.

You are so far away yet the beauty of this love is the moonlight that we share every night.

Wandering around in search of the stars…

Auldrin

Message

Hi friends,

The blog  https://drvasudhakumari.blogspot.com/?m=1 is now active and running.

This is an attempt to reach out to you people with some reliable facts, rising health issues of concern and how to lead a healthy life.

Hope it's useful!

Yours only

Auldrin

(DrVasudhaKumari)

Major hand-wash explosion (TheTelegraphicTales)

Major handwash explosion

Do you remember Ross's major shampoo explosion?

Here's a snippet-

---------*---------*---------*---------*---------*---------*---------

Ross: Oh NO!!
Rachel: What? What is it?
Ross: Major shampoo explosion!!!
Rachel: Uh, look Ross. This really isn't easy.
Ross: Oh, it's all over everything! Why?! Why me?!?
Rachel: Because you took three hundred bottles of shampoo?
Ross: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You were saying?
Rachel: Well yeah, well look.. it's about me and..
Ross: OH NOT ANOTHER ONE! Oh my G--and it's moisturizer! It's even harder to clean! Why? Why do bad things happen to good people?!?
Rachel: Wow! Well clearly this is not a good time..
Ross: Uh, you think?!

---------*---------*---------*---------*---------*---------*---------

This is for your memory. I have the whole series memorised. Huh, if only I could remember all the drugs classifications like this😑...never mind!

Well such events are hilarious only when on television. It's a disaster in reality of which I was a victim today.

When the Amazon pantry order arrived, one of the items being a 1L handwash refill had exploded! Just as I picked it up to see where the leak came from I was covered with soap in seconds.

Guys, this is the moment when you truly need people with common sense actually active at that time.

I rushed to the bathroom with the officer in order to fill the hand-wash bottles as quickly as we could but soon we ran out of them. Instantly he thought that it's simply soap so we can use it for washing clothes and started scraping the sticky material off my skin. I was moistened by the soap anyway what was left was to go and stand under the shower of an hour or so.

Ok I did that too.

Have you ever washed clothes with a hand-wash?

Leave that, answer this- In an era where we have different lotions/soaps for different areas of our body, have you had a full bath with a hand-wash?

Thank god it was liquid! Else just imagine a hand-wash bar someone used before you, what they washed last and what you intend to wash first!! Yes...Eww..is the word!

Next I went to check on the clothes.

The officer who was already exhausted after returning from work sat there next to the machine with a crappy face and said that the washing machine was broken!

It's not the explosion but the aftermath that hurts more.

I sat next to him, infront of us was the huge pile of clothes already soaked in buckets of that liquid soap and a broken “automatic” washing machine.

QOTD- What do you think we did next?

Whimsically surviving every day!

Auldrin

The maid to honour (TheTelegraphicTales)

The maid to honour

Today I realised about the fuss in media, actresses making comebacks into the industry after finally managing their respective marriages, to settling their kids into schools and some who were busy until their children did well in X/Xll boards. As for me, after surviving nights of turmoil I set my foot back into the sea of words. Let's see how far I can swim this time.

This is about Amma ( our maid in her late 40s). She is mostly punctual, her arrival being between 6:15-6:30am. Over the few months of my stay at home I have stopped using alarms for she does that part very well by switching off the fan on entering my room. With 42 deg celsius temperature one can easily get up from sleep with an automatic bath in their own sweat.

To me she is an epitome of tranquility, which is highly unlikely these days to find such a quality in a maid.

Mostly we experience a person who works for us, cleans our house as well as keeping us up to date with the society gossips, like who spent more & how much for their child's wedding, to the new extra marital affairs, who doesn't treat them well and they only love the home in which they are present for that particular moment. But Amma just does her work, has a cup of tea and leaves for the next house.

Strange isn't it? I feel we are blessed to have her and in order to keep her contended too I fight with my lady to not nag her about anything as the consequences of her leaving are frightened. Occasionally while me and the officer have our morning tea gup-shup I ask Amma about her views in relation to the conversation, sometimes she favours me else the other two. She ends up sharing some laughs with us, my motive being-making her comfortable, loved and respectful. The other day during the meeting of Mr. Trump and Mr. Kim, we were keenly interested in whether or not the WW-3 was to take place. Well not that we want any of it to happen it surely did add humour to the officer's question- Should I go to office or back to sleep? For he would prefer to be in peace lying on his comfy mattress in a cosy sleep, when/if anything like this ever happens.

There sitting in a corner, faintly smiling Amma finally gave up struggling with those curves on her face and laughed saying the work never stops till a person decides to halt, pushing all his energy on the brakes.

As for me, I have accepted the truth that one can survive without anyone in cities these days but not the maid. Believe me on this, she is 'the maid to honour’ in today's world!

P.S. The bodyguard(metaphorical) has asked to switch ON the AC in the hall so that when he arrives home from the killing heat, it will be thanda-thanda cool-cool😀

QOTD- Was my comeback fair enough for the blog-office OR barely charted in the box-office like Madhuri's 'aaja nachle’ or Ash's 'jazbaa’ or even Kajol's ‘dilwale’?

Auldrin😇

HibernationLetters 15

Since you left my brain is busy in search of ways for a distraction, maybe that's why it hasn't accepted any signals from the burning chest and the choking throat for an immediate action.

Here I am treating myself with therapeutic words, hoping for the discomfort to subside soon.

That last call you received was just to record your voice in my memory, one last time, as now that seems to be the only honest word you ever said to me.

The first one was rude- like the usual,

the second one showed slight concern- like I'd expected

& the third 'hello’ finally reflected your pain too.

There was so much I decided to say, so much that I wanted to change, me this time not you but like people say sometimes, when you finally find the right moment it's already too late.

So I stood still holding the storm inside and remained silent, like you always wanted. This time forever.

QOTD- Are you people wondering about the remaining 14 letters?

Stay tuned for more in the new series the “hibernation letters”.

Auldrin

Book Review-A house without windows

A House Without Windows
Author- Nadia Hashimi
Publisher- Harper Collins
Format- Paperback
M.Ṛ.P- 499
No. of pages- 414

This fiction novel is written by Nadia Hashimi, a paediatrician by profession, yet her words are so heartfelt and spellbounding. The story revolves around an afghan village where a husband is murdered by his wife which further illuminates the traditional culture of the country, life in a women’s prison known as Chil Mahtab in Kabul and the secrets and struggles of a multigenerational family.

Who is Zeba?
A daughter, in a family where the father left one day unannounced leaving behind his wife and two children. The mother convinced her little children that their father had gone to participate in the war yet in her heart she knew he left her and was somewhere alive.

Who is Zeba?
A sister, who looked up to her brother to save her from the perilous world always and forever still she is distanced from him due to her husband's behaviour.

Who is Zeba?
A wife, facing the atrocities by her husband for years who just killed him one day to protect her honour and of someone else. A woman who in her sane mind accepted her crime and went to the prison where she finally felt ‘free’.

Who is Zeba?
A mother, protecting her four children from the demon called society. A patient woman who without uttering a word goes to the prison leaving them behind with her husband's family. Her children knowing that their mother could not have done such heinous crime but unaware of exact circumstances.

Who is Zeba?
A friend, named as the famous Mallika Zeba in the prison by her fellow inmates who felt grateful to whatever she did for them before being sentenced for the murder.

And then there comes Yusuf, an Afghan born-American raised lawyer who takes up Zeba's case knowing that it's a dead end but not losing hope till the end.
Read this mystery filled haunting tale and it will transform the power of your reading grabbing attention to every single page.

Rating- 4.5/5

Signing off!
©Auldrin❤

Poetry

Poetry. It has been occupying a lot of my mind lately. I wanted to build a page just for my poems, which I finally did (breathholdingspells.wordpress.com) because maybe getting published is actually a dream somewhere buried in my heart. But some dreams are beautiful as it is.
This time it's more, I've realised the words really float in our subconscious mind waiting for a trigger either audio or visual or even sensory and then the notes begin. Like a song where the music still plays when the lyrics aren't being sung.
This time it's about originality, anything and everything I think I write, I design, I draw and I take pictures of every subtle thing for it was bold enough to catch my attention. Like a fallen flower after its full bloom looks so serene. Like the smooth crispy pencil sharpenings still twisted into a perfect flower. Like an old peacock feather once kept in my diary now torn and out of shape yet only its memories afresh. Like a newly grown interest in calligraphy which makes it harder to separate from writing now.
It is just a wordplay and I take pride in it. In the world where people play with each other's emotions, feelings, I chose to play with the words. I might pick them from mid-sentences, I may even leave them incomplete but I will let you perceive its meaning in your own satisfying way.
Some may have an advanced language touch, some may be a part of your daily conversations and some may sound just like usual words. Just remember they are powerful, if not to you but to someone. Ohh not necessarily me, for there are people hungry enough, craving for love, that they might just need them.

So let's see how far it takes thee cause the love for poetry shall never die in me.

Happy reading folks!

©Auldrin❤

Rain and Love

the rain still lingers

just like your taste

it doesn't matter what

was washed away

cause you're on my lips

the battering sound

of the windows

helped me to sleep

like a lullaby being sung

especially for me

my eyes open

into the same direction

like i daily do where

my beautiful plants

sit and bloom

every morning i find

previous day's wilted flower

and a fresh new bud

reminiscent of our love

blossoming each night

i feel cold but

comforting too for

the earthy aroma

has the power being

a natural healer

i still lay in bed staring

at your tranquilness

i do this all the time

for the fear you'll be

gone soon after

-©Auldrin❤

Book Review-Milk and Honey

Milk and honey

Author- Rupi Kaur

Publisher- Andrews McMeel Publishing

Format- Paperback

M.R.P- 499

No. of pages- 208

Milk and Honey is an anthology written by a young prolific writer, Rupi Kaur. A collection of poetry, prose, and hand-drawn illustrations, the book has four chapters dealing with four common issues developing in a young mind. These are titled as "the hurting", "the loving", "the breaking", and "the healing". The author designed the book from cover to cover, illustrating pictures that were woven in with her words.

The hurting describes different emotions of a female mind and body, about the silence a girl learns from her mother, the inappropriate touch by the males and the pain of a heaving chest radiating to down there.

The loving expresses the unconditional love of a mother who gives her everything (mind, body, soul) in bringing a new life into this world. The loving shows the passion of a couple which lays hidden during an argument but emerges out erotically on making up.

The breaking will capture your mind, the wilting love will make you travel back to all those relationships where you forgot to breathe and the words will help you find solace no matter it all ended. Eventually it will leave you with a smile and praise for the author.

The healing will teach you to believe first in your own self because that is the moment when you rehabilitate back into the world, your heart mends slowly, your mind feels healthy and you feel blissful.

From the book-

• the thing about having

       an alcoholic parent

       is an alcoholic parent

       does not exist

       simply

       an alcoholic

       who could not stay sober

        long enough to raise their kids (39)

• what am i to you he asks

       i put my hands in his lap

       and whisper you

       are every hope

       i’ve ever had

       in human form (49)

• the very thought of you

       has my legs spread apart

       like an easel with a canvas

       begging for art (57)

• you might not have been my first love

       but you were the love that made

       all the other loves

       irrelevant (63)

• it wasn't you i was kissing

       - don't be mistaken

       it was him on my mind

       your lips were just convenient (113)

• i don't know why

       i split myself open

       for others knowing

       sewing myself up

       hurts this much

       afterward (125)

• perhaps the saddest of all

      are those who live waiting

      for someone they're not

      sure exists

      - 7 billion people (157)

• for you to see beauty here

      does not mean

      there is beauty in me

      it means there is beauty rooted

      so deep within you

      you can't help but

      see it everywhere (192)

These are just a few words I shared here but there is a whole new world in the book. Take your favourite cup of tea/coffee and go on read it!

Rating- 4.5/5

I have the beautiful rains waiting for me by the window.

Sayonara!

-©Auldrin❤

Book Review-The Liberation of Sita

The Liberation of Sita
Author- Volga (Popuri Lalitha Kumari)
Publisher- Harper Collins India
Format- Paperback
M.R.P- 199
No. of pages- 132

Our childhood mythologies include the very famous Valmiki’s Ramayana, the fourteen years of exile & return to Ayodhya of Lord Rama, his wife Sita and younger brother Laxmana, from which we are taught about moral values and ethics.

But how do we all remember Sita?

As Purushottam Rama’s wife?
Or
As Janaka’s daughter?

This is because father’s pride before a wedding becomes husband’s pride after the one. A woman is believed to carry her man’s name.

The Liberation of Sita as the name only suggests is the self realisation story of Sita as the daughter of Earth goddess after she was abandoned by Lord Rama. During this arduous journey she meets other extraordinary women like Surpanakha, Renuka, Urmila and Ahalya who have broken free from all that held them back: husbands, sons and their notions of desires, beauty and chastity. While Rama on the other hand too must reconsider and weigh out his role as a King and as a man deeply in love with his wife. It is reliving the epic Ramayana through Sita’s eyes.
Sita raises her two sons by herself living in an ashram where she loves peace, beauty and wildness of the deep forest, a contrast to her splendid capital stays of the past. In the beginning she is full of pain and confusion but meeting one woman after another, listening about their paths, she questions Rama and his dharma, her own identity, complex nature of fidelity. By the end she is sure about herself. Her actual origin, values, and her need for no one, not even her husband. This novel is one of the feminist best by Volga.
Somehow the story still depicts how our society doubts a woman but not a man. A man is still the dominant soul and his wife should always do according to his wishes. This book is a must read lesson to all women out there to know about and realise their own-selves.

From the book-

“I am the daughter of Earth, Rama. I have realised who I am. The whole universe belongs to me. I don’t lack anything. I am the daughter of Earth.

Rama was left speechless by these solemn words.

Devoid of Sita’s support, Rama tasted defeat for the first time in his life. By refusing to bow down to external authority, Sita had fully experienced, for the first time, the inner power of self-authority."(41)


Rating- 4.2/5
Happy reading friends!

-©Auldrin❤

The underground library (TheTelegraphicTales)

This story goes back to the year 2010, in the month of february when I was in eleventh standard. Every weekend I used to go to south extension, Delhi, Aakash institute for medical coaching. You must have heard about its extensive market. One fine day an underground library caught my eyes and after my classes were over I went there. Aaahhh the inside was so mesmerizing that I felt high as if someone pushed my type of drug directly into my veins. Being a teenager I went upto the romance section to check out the old classics but a boxed set of Stephenie Meyer’s “Twilight” made me stop. It was so beautiful that I felt the need to buy it immediately yet somehow I controlled my thirst for another day and planned how to trick my mother to come along with me the next day. My plans worked sequentially to bring mum for dropping me at the centre saying that the class started early, which on reaching she saw there’s still time so we decided to go strolling around the place and happened to find an underground library. So finally I played my trump card that my birthday was in another 6 days and how about she buy me a gift here only. As pleasing as I sounded she agreed too since it was a reasonable point. After a few minutes, I held the boxed set in my arms happily like a new born baby with tears of joy in my eyes and greed of when I would start reading it.
Suddenly I fell down to the earth after being on cloud nine for a while. You know you cant trick mothers they have an inbuilt basic instinct of catching every possible mischief that you intend to do. She took the box and gave me the first book saying I can have one for now but the remaining I shall get on my birthday. Still being satisfied I agreed as just one book was so thick it would anyhow take me 4-5 days to finish reading.
Soon I was captured in the maze of words created by the author and like its vampire character craved to read more and more and more. Sleepless & hungry like a beast I was coming towards the end of the book after approximate 20hrs of buying so I eagerly started searching for the other books wondering where can mother hide them. The search mission was a bliss when I found the beautiful box lying at the bottom-most shelf of an almirah in the store room where apparently she thought it was wise to hide. Well I too being her daughter had my share of victory but to also respect her decision, somewhat indirectly as my childish brain could think, I kept back the first novel and took the second one of the series for I knew she would only count the number of novels in the box rather than reading the names. Genius! wasn’t I ? hahaha..yes ofcourse..and so it happened that in a span of 5 days I had finished all the four novels of the series when finally on the 6th day, which was my birthday she gifted me the remaining ones.
I told her the truth about this just few weeks back when I was home, cleaning my inhouse-library, when I remembered those times I used to secretly read books especially at night in the torch light, expecting some scoldings to my surprise all she did was laugh and there came out those three little words "I always knew!". I sheepishly smiled watching her face which was filled with so much love.
Mothers are so unpredictable. This story is like one those beautiful memories we shared and the ones yet to come.
Sayonara friends.
©Auldrin❤

Ehsaas

Wo neele aasman ki chhaanv
aur samundar ka kinara
khamoshi se bhara sama
akele hum, par koi hai yahan...
Wo paidon ki tehniyaan
jo shararat si kar rahi
apne wahan hone ka
humein ehsaas hai de rahi...
par main chup hun
aur nishabd tum
fir aisa kya hai
jo wo hain sun rahi
ye pani ki sarsarati lehrein
ya teri khamoshi
aur meri aahatein…
Jo ankhon me tere
ye anginat sawal hain
nam hothon par mere
ek raaz jaise chhipe
iss baiman hawa me bhi
ek awaaz hai
dhund unme lafzon ko tu mere...
Chahe kitni koshish kar lun
inhe tujhse chhupane ki
duniya ko fir bhi
hai khabar sahi
mai awari aur ye waqt bhi
iss shiddat ko aazmaake
naino me apne panha de...
Hai pta mere dil ko bhi
thag jane ki keemat
ye waqt laye barsaat ya andhi
bezaar main, rahungi yahin
bas yahin…

~©Auldrin❤

Change (TheTelegraphicTales)

I was at work today when I saw these black clouds and estimated the time of their conversion into rain. I left the building for lunch just a few minutes earlier before the showers began only so that some of the drops caress my skin and heal my upset heart. Flashes of six year old memories piled up in my mind when I came to this city for the first time & I had beautiful long hair which I never intended to cut. Still the hot-humid weather forced me to take such a big step that I went to a salon and got all those layers chopped off, followed by crying for many days. Over the years I fell in love with this place getting accustomed to the heat, enjoying the rains, and promising self to never cut my hair again.
I came back to the present day on realising I was drenched by the showers of joy and I have long hair again. How silly I was back then, and how much I've changed now just a tiny thought about it becomes an eye candy in this bizzare world. Change is good, we all change at some point of time and if we don't overthink about the people around us it is definitely a change for good. Today no matter how many hardships I face yet I can see the path on which I want to travel, no matter how impossible it seems yet I have enough strength to give it my best shot, no matter how many times I lose hope this city finds a way to bring me joy. I believe everyone has that one day in their lives when the actually know what they want, when they realise what's their goal to achieve, it's just a matter of time but we should stay put so that when our day comes we are standing strong to grab it. I wish you all be ready then to embrace your new adventures with a bold & healthy heart.

Signing off.

©Auldrin❤

The last Sunday (TheTelegraphicTales)

Today is the last Sunday of my one year's Internship. After all the night shifts as well as night outings today I wanted to spend the morning sitting in a cafe, sipping my favourite masala tea, watching the uninterrupted rain through a large window and reading an old classic 'Wuthering Heights'. Being in the cafe for a while I looked around suddenly when I realised I was surrounded with different couples. I could overhear some of their stories and the diversity of the conversations fantasized me. Like Savi Sharma's 'Everyone has a story'  I started jotting down theirs. Couple A was on the table just next to mine, they were probably meeting for the first time, a set up by two families who wanted to fix them into a wedlock. Couple B was a newly married one out for a Sunday brunch to enjoy the romantic weather of the city. Couple C, well not a couple I guess as the guy remained constant but the girl/s were like the value of 'x', different and unknown. He seemed young to be such a Casanova type, I could infer that he chose a central location of the city to meet all of them, intelligent! Couple D being my favourite as the old couple finally got the time in their life to spend it with each other, the kids were settled with a family and they didn't mind being alone for it seemed in the race of life while trying to settle their kids they missed out on each other a lot. Now was the time to enjoy the passion again which was once so alive. I never thought about listening into other's lives, secretly stealing their stories but they amazed me. How different people can be at a single place at the same time but with such diversity. On the fifth table was a young girl trying her best to please her new client into doing business together. Her words had such a power and fineness while she spoke that no matter I understood nothing about the business yet I felt mesmerized. Alas! It was me in the last table with my love beside me whose eyes constantly stared to see the glitters in mine. Aaah..I fell in love today, all over again, with this city of Joy.

~©Auldrin❤

Twilight

Alone
I used to live
In my fantasy world
With help of Meyer's
Twilight.
Love
Filled with its
Own distinct flavours
Me being left fully
Mesmerized.
Throbbing
Of the carotid
Felt by touching
The lips to the neck of
Human.
Resisting
The taste of one's
Favourite type of drug
In the name of honest
Passion.
And
Then I met with your
Style of silent affection
From my neck to spine
Shivering.
Alas
Those feelings once
Buried in the novel
Came out into reality
Bursting.

~© Auldrin ❤

Chester Bennington

It started with one thing
When your songs
Helped me to breathe in
As I was living
In a castle of glass
It wasn't the place
Where I belonged
I wanted to heal, to feel
Everything that was unreal
But I grew up
Breaking that habit
The loud echoing music
Bursting into my ears
Outside looking like a fool
From the inside I felt relieved
To find my destination
Crawling on the way
One step closer
I was everyday
Neither I could runaway
Nor you pushed me away
Your music walked with me
Like a shadow of the day
When you saved so many
How could you give up
Now you've surely left behind
Many reasons to be missed
& in the end you were still the best
Let us all leave out the rest.

~©Auldrin❤

Together

Is it just an attraction
Growing between the two
Or do we all believe
In love at first sight.
For it should be decided
Over the course of years
Just like we ask our granny
How did she fell for grandpa.
It wasn't just after
The wedding night
Or the nights that followed
But surely after so many
Meals prepared together.
After birth of a few children
& after death of someone close.
After nights spent far apart
To sipping hot tea when it was cold.
It happened over all these years
For they had the patience to grow old
Together.

Golden dust

Exhaling
what I had within
My words
crumple the paper
slowly into ash
Yet again
along the wind
striving
I float in the air
like golden dust.

~Auldrin©

Another time another place

These feelings have no end
Even if we separate,
I will meet you again
Another time another place.
If not my voice
My words shall reach you,
I'll return to reside in that heart
For this love is true.
You can move on
You don't have to stop,
It will just be my soul
Protecting round the clock.
One day shall come
Unknowingly you'll grieve,
Silently sliding out as tears
Through your eyes I will leave.
Run your fingers on the pages
Read my words to embrace,
& we shall meet again
Another time another place.

~Auldrin©

Specially challenged (TheTelegraphicTales)

Today while working in the ER I encountered a young patient​, a boy 17yrs of age, who could not hear or speak since birth. He was accompanied by his mother who somehow managed to tell us that he has stomach ache. He was so restless that I could myself understand this much from his body language and my clinical knowledge. I started giving him some injections which would relieve his symptoms but they weren't of much help. I called up a friend who knew sign language so as to communicate with him but his mother informed that he is not educated. And there I felt the floor slipping away from under my foot, what did I just hear? A deaf & dumb boy, how will he express himself? If his two senses aren't working he still has other senses intact. He can see, he can write but his parents never realised that how important it is to express oneself. Shocked and surprised at the same time, on knowing the family history, the couple had 4 kids of which one was specially challenged. While there are many NGOs, schools and other health & education ​systems established for providing the necessary information and teaching, at a minimal cost, very much affordable and sometimes free as well yet people don't use them. The parents were spending money in lakhs for the education of their three kids but not a single penny for this child only because they thought what will he do with education. You be rich or poor but if you don't have the ability of expressing you cannot help your ownself. We talk about the big changes we want, well this is where we need to start. All the knowledge I gained in these years was useless today in front of him for even if I had known the sign language he wouldn't understand me at all. We tried counseling his parents but they didn't pay much heed to our words & took away our mysterious patient, discharging on risk bond. I could only silently pray for him because that's what we do all the time after we are done with the medicinal treatment, pray to God to handle the rest!

~Auldrin©